I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
