i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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