im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
