It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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