I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
