Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
