You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
