So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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