It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
My feet surprised me
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