Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize