did you get engaged???
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
our cab driver is having phone sex.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize