You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
