if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
In America we eat man semen.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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