My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
