ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
