So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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