She said her name was "party"
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
