He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
