Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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