covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize