all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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