so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
