FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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