So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
