I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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