I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
