Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
i drank out of a bidet.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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