Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
