you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
