He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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