So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
