you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
