Its about making memories worth repressing
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
