If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
