the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
In America we eat man semen.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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