God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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