5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
