Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
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