there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
