So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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