I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
