hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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