we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
