she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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