Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
