pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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