just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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