Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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