So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Randomize
