walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
