ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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