i just google imaged poop.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
