i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
you never un-have a 4some
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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