her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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