You made me cry and you don't even care
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Couch. On fire.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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